


Love Isn't Easy - Bloodbound (Jax)

by GarnetSeren



Series: Love Isn't Easy - Otome Collection [2]
Category: Bloodbound (Visual Novels)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Drama, Drama & Romance, F/M, Falling In Love, Female Friendship, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Getting Together, Getting to Know Each Other, Love, Love Confessions, Male-Female Friendship, Polyamory Negotiations, Romance, Smut, Survivor Guilt, do not copy to another site
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-11
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:55:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 14,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23591932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GarnetSeren/pseuds/GarnetSeren
Summary: Jax had been attracted to her the moment he first saw her walking out of Raines Corporation, she was utterly stunning. but the night she'd let him feed on her had changed everything for him. He'd never expected her to be so open minded about the Clanless, he hadn't expected her offer her blood the moment she realised he was hurt, he hadn't expected to be so ridiculously drawn to her. But as time went on and she proved how unwavering her support of his people... of him... was, Jax couldn't deny he was in deep. He loved her. She was his world. And somehow, miraculously, it became increasingly obvious she felt the same; but of course, the moment Jax finally felt like he might actually deserve a happily ever after, it seemed the universe was determined to screw him over. However he refused to go down without a fight, and thankfully she was just as adamant.*A collection of interconnected, chronological Jax related one-shots*
Relationships: Jax Matsuo/Adrian Raines/Main Character (Bloodbound), Jax Matsuo/Main Character (Bloodbound)
Series: Love Isn't Easy - Otome Collection [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1636357
Kudos: 14





	1. Closer

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tornflames](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tornflames/gifts).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One moment, their blades were clashing loudly, metal on metal ringing out over the usual sounds that filled the Shadow Den, though he found it a little difficult not to be distracted by the flash of lace that kept peaking out beneath her leather jacket, whenever she countered one of his strikes. The next, she was closing the distance. At first it was just her lips brushing against his, feather light, as if giving him chance to pull away if he wanted. But that was ridiculous, he'd wanted her since the moment they'd met. So he surged forward, his hands finding her hips, pulling her close, as he deepened their kiss.

Their blades clashed loudly, metal on metal ringing out over the usual sounds that filled the Shadow Den. In all honesty, Jax was finding it a little difficult not to be distracted by the flash of lace that kept peaking out beneath Celeste's leather jack, whenever she countered one of his strikes. However, he couldn't deny he found sparing with her oddly exhilarating. It had been pretty obvious she knew some sort of martial arts from the moment they squared off against each other in the training ring, but Jax was impressed with how quickly she was picking up the techniques he used whilst wielding his katana. When she'd called asking for help earlier that night, and he'd seen the state of her and her friend... fancy dresses ripped and covered in blood... Jax had assumed Celeste just wanted somewhere safe to lay low for a bit. Which of course he'd given her without hesitation, even if she still worked for Raines, and her best friend was a member of that bastard's clan. But whilst that was part of it, Celeste had been far more worried about warning him of the added danger his Clanless were now facing thanks to the latest feral attack, which Jax really appreciated. So he'd persuaded Elena to trade clothes with her and her friend, and sent the newly turned vampire to the feeding room, whilst he offered to cook for Celeste himself; stunned by the radiant smile she'd given him when she accepted the invitation.

In all honesty, Jax had been attracted to Celeste the moment he first saw her walking out of Raines Corporation. She was utterly stunning with her porcelain skin, sparkling green eyes, and gorgeous auburn waves that she usually wore in a French twist; and felt like silk against his fingers the night she'd let him feed on her. That night had changed everything for him, he could no longer think of Celeste as a potential spy against their enemies. He'd never expected her to be so open minded about the Clanless, he hadn't expected her to sit on the floor in her fancy dress to play with Lula, he hadn't expected her to hug the little girl and tell her she wasn't a monster, and he certainly hadn't expected her to immediately offer her blood the moment she realised he was hurt. He'd led her into a separate room away from the others then, pulling her far closer than he'd needed too, as he'd gently brush her hair away from the elegant column of her throat, before carefully sinking his fangs into her delicate skin. Though the moment he pulled away after drinking his fill, Celeste had cupped his cheek and despite seeming a little dazed, still asked if he felt better. In all honesty, it took more willpower than Jax cared to admit, not to kiss her right there and then. And perhaps it hadn't been the 'right' thing to do, but Celeste hadn't seemed upset when Lula revealed he'd been following her the past few days, so of course he checked in on her later that night; wanting to make sure she got back to work okay, considering he'd saved her from the Baron. But despite the commotion he saw outside Raines' building, Celeste never called like Jax expected... wanted... her to. So of course he'd _had_ to go check on her the following evening, and was far happier than he should have been, when she slipped away from the boss without hesitation, just to go for a walk with him. They'd ended up holding hands as they meandered through Central Park, discussing a few of the problems and concerns they were each dealing with; the fact Celeste adamantly wanted to help the Clanless however she could meant more to him than she'd ever know, as did the way she gave him her number 'in case' _he_ needed _her_. It had made a smile want to form on his lips as they walked back, but despite the hopefully... happy... mood Celeste had put him in, Jax hadn't expected her to hug him at the end of their walk, or admit she wanted to see him again. He'd hugged her back, savouring the way she felt in his arms, though he tried to play it cool, despite the way his heart pounded.

Jax had talked himself out of texting or calling Celeste at least a dozen times since then, before she'd called him asking for help. So although it wasn't the situation he'd imagined them being in, he tried to simply enjoy her company; even if the topic of conversation was pretty heavy. Hearing what Celeste had gone through at the ball... what she'd seen, what she'd survived, what she'd done to try protect others... had been harrowing _and_ inspiring. She was a human thrown into the world of vampires, but she'd done more than most vampires ever did to help. She was a marvel. He'd offered her weapons training without really thinking, not expecting Celeste to hug him tightly, tears glistening in her captivating eyes as she hurriedly accepted. Which is how he found himself sparing with her; still surprised she'd chosen a katana similar to the one he wielded. They traded several more blows, the clang of steal on steal ringing loudly, before Jax swung downwards. He expected her to block and planned to sweep a foot out, intending to knock her off balance and send her to the mats. However, Celeste deflected the strike as she stepped closer to him, though Jax only had a split second to appreciate their bodies pressed together, before she suddenly grabbed his dominant arm. In one quick movement, she twisted, pulling him over her shoulder. His katana clattered to the floor, and Jax only managed to suck in a winded breath, before Celeste was straddling his chest, pining him to the mat. Her katana ever so slightly rested against the side of his neck, prompting him to smile up at her. He was impressed... among other things.

* * *

“You know, I never asked if you wanted dessert earlier...”

Celeste laughed as she got up and offered her hand to Jax. She really hadn't expected that move to work so well on him, and she was quietly pleased that she'd seemingly impressed him; hopefully it meant he'd give her more lessons on fighting with a katana, since it felt a lot better to have a weapon in her hands, instead of having to rely on punching and kicking. But that was a discussion for another time, since Celeste was more than happy to follow Jax back up to his 'room'. She didn't care that it was a converted office, the space was welcoming and she loved the string lights that lit the room with a soft glow. Though when he began to head towards the little kitchenette, Celeste curled her hand around his bicep, gently tugging to he faced her again. She took a moment to simply appreciate how he looked in the warm light; his black hair and currently dark eyes, his handsome face and the sexy stubble he was rocking. It was obvious he was of Asian decent, and she couldn't help admire the contrast of their complexions, when she reached up with her free hand to cup his face. In all honesty, she'd wanted to kiss him the moment she'd first felt his lips on her throat and as he took a step closer to her, Celeste was certain the attraction was mutual. So she closed the distance, at first just brushing her lips against his, giving him chance to pull away if it wasn't what he wanted. But then Jax surged forward, his hands finding her hips as he sought to deepen their kiss. Celeste readily granted his silent request, tasting a hint of the soda they'd shared at dinner as their tongues started a fevered dance. He pulled her impossibly close, letting her feel his obvious arousal even as he stepped back and sank down on to the beat up couch that sat against the wall, tugging her with him until she was straddling his lap. Celeste could smell the musky notes of Jax' cologne as he kissed her urgently, before his lips trailed down her throat and across her collarbone. His large calloused hands pushed her leather jacket off her shoulders, and Celeste let it fall to the floor, leaving her in the barely modest lace top she was wearing underneath, and a black pencil skirt that had bunched up to her thighs thanks to their position.

“That outfit...” he murmured, against her skin.

“What about it?” she asked, carding her hands through his hair.

“Well, you look _incredible_ in it... but it's a bit much for the occasion,” Jax replied.

Celeste huffed a breathless laugh, as he lightly grazed his teeth across her pulse point. “I'm not the only one a little overdressed.”

Their eyes remained locked as they stood from the couch and slowly undressed each other, caressing and stroking each new piece of revealed skin with exploring touches, before Jax suddenly swept Celeste up into his strong arms. His eyes were red and his fangs extended, his gaze sweeping over her hungrily as he gently lay her on the futon he obviously used as a bed. Celeste let her hands wandering over his broad shoulders and the toned expanse of his torso, her fingertips occasionally tracing the scars she found as Jax leant down to capture her lips again; his fangs teasingly grazing her bottom lip, nipping ever so gently, before he propped himself above her again.

“I want you. So badly. Ever since we met,” he whispered.

She wrapped her legs around his hips, pulling him closer, his body a delicious weight on top of hers. She ran her hands through his soft hair, murmuring her assurance that she wanted him too, though had to muffle her moan of delight by pressing her lips to the crook of his neck, when he began to rock his hips against her, brushing against her most sensitive bundle of nerves.

“And here I thought I was the vampire,” he teased.

Just for that, Celeste began to suck and nibble on the juncture where his neck met his shoulder, making Jax gasp as she gave him a love bite, and she couldn't help smiling against his skin. She rolled her hips, glad that he understood her silent demand, and she arched her back as he pressed closer... deeper... sliding to the hilt. Celeste lightly tugged his hair, earning her an appreciative groan, as she guided Jax to look at her. A brief look of surprise flashed across his handsome face, though he soon rested his forehead against her; giving Celeste the distinct impression he thought she'd be put off by his red eyes. So she cupped his face with one hand, keeping their gazes locked, whilst the other laced with his as she met him thrust for thrust. Jax' whole body was trembling with obvious restraint as he moved with her, prompting Celeste to run her thumb across his cheekbone.

“You're holding back,” she stated, not breaking their rhythm.

“I don't want to hurt you,” he replied, his voice strained.

“I trust you.”

Jax slammed his free hand against the wall behind the bed at her words, hunching over Celeste to protect her from the brick dust and debris that fell, as his thrusts became more powerful. He moved to drape one of her legs over his forearm, the change of angle letting him hit the exact spot that made her toes curl. She threw back her head, exposing her throat to his hot mouth and he kissed her skin hungrily. A familiar heat was rapidly building, and her hands scrambled for purchase on his back as he drove her closer to the edge.

“Celeste... please... I...” Jax begged.

She wasn't entirely sure what he was asking, but she moaned her agreement anyway. One of his hands slipped between them, his thumb circling her most sensitive bundle of nerves in time to his powerful thrusts. Celeste moaned again, the words 'so close' and his name mingled somewhere in the sound, before he settled his lips over her pulse point. His fangs sank into her throat, the dual pleasure-pain the perfect combination coupled with everything else he was doing to her. He pushed her over the edge and as she pulsed around him, Jax found his own release, buried to the hilt. Celeste held him close as they both tried to catch their breaths, and she smiled contentedly as she felt him pressed several feather light kisses across her neck and collarbone.

“I didn't hurt you, did I?” he asked, finally propping himself to look at her with his now dark eyes.

“Not at all,” she assured, kissing him sweetly. “I loved every second of it.”

Jax' smile was surprisingly soft as he gently rolled them onto their sides, his strong arms wrapping around her almost protectively. Chuckling lightly, Celeste reached up to brush some brick dust from his hair, though before she could drape her arm back around him Jax caught her hand, pressing kisses to her palm and inner wrist.

“Thank you,” she continued, quietly. “Not just for this... which was admittedly amazing... but for everything. Because of you, I feel safe.”

His answering smile made her heart race, but he had butterflies racing around her stomach when he whispered:

“I'm here for you, Celeste. Always.”


	2. Ties That Bind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jax honestly had no idea how long they'd been arguing, but despite his anger, his attention caught on her words; on what she was implying. So his gaze searched hers, trying to figure out if she really was on their side, or if she was just saying anything in the hopes of saving that pretty boy boss of hers. He felt uneasy. He'd seen the way Raines looked at her... not that Jax could blame the man... but it added to his misgivings. Raines was everything he was not, and he'd be a liar if he tried to pretend he didn't feel a little intimidated. But then she suddenly surged forward suddenly, practically throwing her arms around his shoulders; hugging him tight. Almost reflexively, Jax held her closer, burying his face in the crook of her neck and fighting the urge to nuzzle the spot where his fangs had punctured her delicate throat before. He couldn't bare the thought he might never see her again, and all because of damned Adrian Raines.

Jax honestly had no idea how long they'd been arguing, or more precisely, how long he and Sayeed had been arguing. The elder vampire had waltzed into the Shadow Den uninvited, and even though the woman insisted she was only there because she needed Celeste and Lily's help, it was a threat to the safety of every single Clanless vampire. But he'd agreed to hear Sayeed out, purely for Celeste's sake; Jax had known from the start he was in too deep with the beautiful redhead, and now that he knew what it was like to hold her, to be with her, he was a goner. Especially when Celeste stepped in between him and Sayeed, her captivating green eyes looking only at him, and lay her dainty hand gently over his heart.

“Jax, please listen when I tell you that Kamilah and Adrian are probably your best potential allies...” she implored.

“If you let us go, we can go with Kamilah to testify for Adrian. It'll strengthen that alliance...” Lily interjected.

“Without allies on the Council, we'll never get the Clanless accepted,” Celeste concluded.

Despite his anger, Jax' attention caught on her wording. We. So his gaze searched hers, trying to figure out if she really was on their side, or if she was just saying anything in the hopes of saving that pretty boy boss of hers. Because when all was said and done, Jax wasn't as concerned about Sayeed's trustworthiness... he'd never trust the Council... but after what they'd shared, he _needed_ to know he could count on Celeste; she'd become his Achilles heel, and had been from the moment they'd met. Even now as they stood on the precipice, he didn't think he really minded.

“Come on, Jax. Please trust me,” she pleaded, her free hand reaching for his. “You know I want what's best for you. You know I'm sympathetic to your cause. Please, let us go with Kamilah.”

“We'll come back and help,” Lily added. “Pinky swear.”

“Even if I went through with this, I'd have a tough time explaining it to my people,” Jax replied, reluctantly.

Celeste squeezed his hand. “Please.”

He angled himself so only she could see his face and the worry he felt... for her. He'd warned Celeste not to trust the Council, and here was one member asking her to stick her neck out for another, regardless of the fact the guy was her boss; not to mention he'd seen the way Raines looked at Celeste, not that Jax could blame the man, but it added to his worry. Raines was everything he was not, and he'd be a liar if he tried to pretend he didn't feel a little threatened... they might not be an item, but he cared for Celeste. Though not only that, after Raines had sent her into the Baron's den with no real protection or back up, Jax was concerned that the guy would get her killed.

“It would go against my better judgement...” he continued, his eyes still locked with Celeste's.

“You won't regret it,” Lily assured, laying a hand on his shoulder.

Jax took a deep breath, before exhaling slowly. “Fine. You're free to go, but don't take advantage of my trust.”

He really hadn't expected Celeste to surge forward suddenly, practically throwing her arms around his shoulders, hugging him tightly as she gave her assurances that she wasn't going to betray him. Almost reflexively, Jax held her closer, burying his face in the crook of her neck, fighting the urge to nuzzle the spot where his fangs had punctured her delicate throat both times he'd drank Celeste's sweet blood. She was a marvel, and he hated the thought he might never see her again; because _anything_ could happen once she went to meet the Council.

“Listen. This has been... having you here...” He paused to clear his suddenly dry throat. “I hope we'll see each other again.”

Celeste pressed the sweetest to his lips, before murmuring: “Jax, I'll be back.”

“I'd like to believe that,” he admitted, quietly.

“I mean it, Jax,” she said, solemnly. “I'll come back for your people. For _you_. This is just the beginning...”

“Is that a promise?” he asked, his hands moving to cup her pretty face.

“I swear,” Celeste stated, cradling his palm to her cheek. “Besides, you have my number now too.”

Despite the situation, Jax' lips twitched to smile as she reminded him of that fact. Without thinking, he tilted his head to press a kiss on the inside of Celeste's wrist, before stepping away. For one last moment, Jax tried to commit the way she looked to memory before he turned to the guards that had brought Sayeed in, and ordered them to direct the three women to an exit where they wouldn't be spotted by the angry crowd still milling about the market. Celeste was the last to leave, and on her way passed her fingers lightly brushing against his. Unable to help himself, Jax gently caught her hand for a brief moment, and when she turned to face him, he raised Celeste's hand to his lips and pressed a kiss to her knuckles; desperately hoping it wouldn't be the last time he saw her.

* * *

The whole 'trial' for Adrian had been a complete sham, but after downing the drink Kamilah had poured her, Celeste refused to sit around and accept their friend's fate. Thankfully, she wasn't the only one and with Nicole surprisingly coming to their aid, Celeste suddenly had a plan. So she'd hurriedly changed from the outfit Kamilah had leant her for the trial... back into the leather and lace ensemble she'd gotten in the Shadow Den... then text Jax. Which was how Celeste found herself back in his room, hoping he cared enough about her to help; because she sure as hell didn't think she could pull off her plan alone.

“Let me get this straight. You want me to pretend to be your prisoner, so you can hand me over to the Baron?” he asked, incredulous.

“Yes,” she admitted, faking a confidence she didn't feel. “But only temporarily, and Kamilah will be handing me over too. Once we're in, we'll kill the lights, find Adrian, then get the hell out of there.”

“I'm sorry, but that's a terrible plan,” Jax argued, running his hands through his black hair. “If something goes wrong, and there's so many ways it can go wrong, we'll end up as the Baron's prisoners.”

“I know it's risky, but it's our only chance to save Adrian's life,” Celeste countered, on the verge of pleading.

“And why the hell would I risk it all for him?” he demanded, frowning.

“If you help save Adrian, you'll gain two allies,” Kamilah stated, calmly.

"Adrian's already sympathetic towards your cause,” Lily added. “And this would put him in your debt. He'd _have_ to help your people.”

“She speaks the truth,” Kamilah agreed. “Adrian _will_ honour this. And so would I.”

“How do I know you're not just making promises he won't keep?” Jax asked, angrily.

“You have my word. Adrian and I will defend you and your people,” Kamilah assured, patiently. “Our clans would ally with yours. Openly. Without hesitation.”

“What you're talking about... even if we pulled it off, there'd be consequences,” he mused, hesitantly. “The Baron would know we were behind it. There'd be war...”

“Eventually,” Kamilah nodded, solemnly. “But we'd buy ourselves the time we need. Time to clear Adrian's name and expose the truth.”

“We could break up the alliance of the other four clans... and turn them against the real enemy,” Lily stated, enthusiastically.

“This is our chance, Jax,” Celeste urged, reaching for his hand. “Our chance to shake up the order. To change how things are. To make a better world. But we need your help... _I_ need your help.”

Jax' brown eyes regarded her closely. “Celeste, you're asking me to risk my life to save another man's.”

She swallowed thickly; guessing what he was implying... what he was asking, in a round about way. So she turned to the others, her eyes quickly flicking to towards the door. Kamilah understood instantly and gave a subtle nod, before ushering Lily out of the room. The moment the door shut behind her friends, Celeste turned back to Jax and unable to help it, she surged forward and crashed her lips to his. He moaned quietly into her mouth, as his arms wrapped around her without hesitation, almost crushing her to his body. She pressed herself impossibly close, relishing the equal fervour Jax brought to their kiss. Though eventually, they had to pull away to breath, and Celeste took to opportunity to cradle his handsome face in her hands.

“It's not like that... with Adrian, I mean,” she murmured.

“What's it like then?” he asked, quietly.

“Jax, whatever is going on in your head, it's not like that,” Celeste insisted, resting her forehead against his. “Putting everything aside that you feel for Adrian, he's an innocent man about to die for a crime he didn't do. What could be more unjust than that?”

He hummed in agreement, even as he bowed his head and closed his eyes.

“ _You're_ the one I'm interested in Jax, I thought I might have made that clear by now,” she continued, lightly stroking her thumbs across his cheekbones. “But I do care about Adrian, he's my friend as well as my boss. I can't sit by and let him die, especially when he's being set up. So I'm going to try free him either way, but I'd really appreciate your help. You're a badass, and I'd feel a lot better knowing you had my back in there.”

Jax sighed deeply, before glancing up at her; a hint of a smile tugging the corner of his mouth. “Don't make me regret this, Celeste...”

“It's a promise,” she vowed, tears pricking her eyes as she hugged him tight. “I adore you, you know.”

“I could get use to hearing that,” he admitted, gently.

Celeste pulled back enough to smile at him. “You should.”

He huffed a small laugh, as his hand found hers. “Come on. We better go find the others and figure out the details of this crazy plan of yours.”

“I really do appreciate this, Jax,” she stated.

His lips brushed hers briefly, before he opened the door. “I know... and I know you'd be doing the same for me, if the rolls were reversed.”

She gently squeezed his fingers. “In a heartbeat. I'll always have your back.”


	3. A Winter Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She smiled at Jax gratefully as he wrapped his jacket around her shoulders... not missing the way he practically drank in the sight of her dwarfed in his clothes... before she caught hold of his hand. Their fingers entwined together effortlessly, and they strolled out of the castle, into the crisp night air. They walked hand-in-hand in a companionable silence as they headed towards the forest that surrounded the impressive building; the moon shining through the bare branches of the towering trees, making the virgin snow sparkle like diamonds. It was so quiet it almost magical, like there own little world. With all the madness going on inside, she didn't want their stolen moment to end.

The moment she heard raised voices across the dance floor, Celeste immediately knew who was involved, and could guess what had triggered it; after all, the former Clanless had been getting dirty looks all night. So she quickly weaved her way through the crowd... eternally grateful Kamilah had gifted her a dress with a knee length circle skirt, which was easier to move in than her regular pencil skirts, or the ballgowns she usually had to wear to these vampire related events... and the second she had Jax in her sights, Celeste linked her arm through his and loudly proclaimed Adrian was looking for him. Jax shot a finally glare to the baron's goon he'd been arguing with, before relented and allowed her to pull him away.

“So what does Adrian want?”he asked, tersely.

“Nothing,” Celeste admitted, giving his arm a reassuring squeeze. “I just wanted to get you out of there.”

He scowled, clearly unimpressed. “I don't need to hide behind Adrian.”

“I know!” she snapped back, her voice low. “But it sounded a lot better than: 'You know this holiday is important to Kamilah, so let's walk away now before we both end up doing something to upset her'. Better ring to it, don't you think?”

Jax studied her for a moment, before he tugged her into a hug; his lips pressing against her forehead. “Sorry. You're right.”

“Besides, I think we could both us a break,” Celeste stated, hugging him back. “I mean, I don't know about you, but the Baron's being nice to me whilst Priyah half invited me to an orgy, and it's all just... weird.”

He huffed out a disbelieving laugh, and gave her a comforting squeeze. “Want to get out of here then?”

“Yeah?” she asked, hopefully.

“Yeah. Let's take a walk, just the two of us,” he suggested.

At her nod of agreement, Jax shrugged out of his leather jacket and wrapped it around Celeste's shoulders, that were left bare thanks to her deep red dress. She smiled at him gratefully, not missing the way he practically drank in the sight of her dwarfed in his clothes, before she caught hold of his hand. Their fingers entwined together effortlessly as they strolled out of the castle and into the crisp night air, though the moment they stepped outside, Jax heaved a weary sigh; gently tugging on her hand to get her to stop.

“I'm sorry for the fight back there,” he apologised, capturing her other hand. “I'm not trying to cause trouble, but it's hard. The Clanless are my people... all I ever known is fighting for them.”

“There's nothing to apologise for,” Celeste consoled, stroking his knuckles with her thumbs. “It's those bastards in the wrong. You and your people have every right to be here.”

Jax raised her hands to kiss the back of her knuckles, smiling slightly, before he led her towards the snow laden forest that surrounded the castle. They walked hand-in-hand in a companionable silence; the moon shining through the bare branches of the towering trees, making the virgin snow sparkle like diamonds. It was so quiet... with only the occasional sound of a hooting owl or something rustling under a bush... it almost magical, like their own little world. But as a cold breeze blew through the frozen forest, Celeste shivered despite being bundled up in Jax' jacket. Which prompted him to let go of her hand, only to wrap an arm around her shoulders instead, pulling her tight into his side.

“Better?” he asked, kissing the top of her head.

“Much,” she smiled, snuggling closer.

“What would you be doing if you hadn't gotten roped into a vampire solstice?” he asked, as they continued to walk.

“Oh, the usual. Drink eggnog, bake cookies, watching awful horror movies with Lily... ignoring several texts from extended family who try to guilt trip me for nor being 'home' for the holidays,” she explained, as nonchalantly as she could.

“You don't talk about your family,” he observed, stopping to pull her into a hug.

“My parents died in a car crash when I was little, so I was raised by my aunt. But she was shot on duty a few years ago,” Celeste explained, resting her cheek on his shoulder. “She was a damn good cop. Died saving her partner's life... I moved to New York not long after.”

“I'm sorry,” Jax stated, holding her tighter.

Celeste squeeze him briefly, before stepping away. She didn't want to dwell on it. “What would you be doing tonight?”

“I usually tried to make some sort of celebration for my people,” he explained, his hand finding hers as they continued their walk. “Most of them couldn't afford to do much, those of us who could would put something together. We made sure everyone knew they had us.”

“That they had family,” she pointed out, smiling gently.

He huffed a quiet laugh. “Yeah. Basically.”

“You're a good man, Jax, and a natural leader” Celeste stated, as they carefully stepped over a fallen log. “You're strong, protective, brave... gorgeous.”

“Gorgeous, huh? Not sure that's a required trait of a leader,” he joked, playfully tugging her into another hug.

“A dashing vampire who's always showing up with a sword, ready to save the day,” she teased, smirking up at him. “ _Extremely_ sexy vibes.”

Jax' lips ghosted across hers, before he tilted his head to whisper in her ear: “That is _very_ good to know.”

A pleasant shiver rippled down Celeste's spine at the sheer amount of promise in his tone, though she smiled softly as he brushed a sweet kiss to her temple, before they continued walking hand-in-hand; simply enjoying the picturesque moonlit, snowy landscape and the twinkling stars that were visible through the wintery canopy of bare branches. They walked in an easy silence... Celeste quietly thankful that she'd opted for low-heeled, closed toe shoes for the party... until they broke through the trees into a small clearing, only to unexpectedly come face to face with a majestic stag. Celeste's breathe caught in her throat, and she couldn't help remembering the doe that she'd seen on her last visit to the castle, when she'd taken a quiet stroll through the garden with Kamilah. Her heart beat rapidly as the magnificent animal slowly walked closer, it's intelligent eyes regarding her calmly, until it stopped in front of them and bent it's head, almost as if it was inviting contact.

“Are we supposed to...?” Jax whispered, sounding as awed as she felt.

Celeste's hand trembled as she slowly reached out and gently lay a hand between the stag's antlers, it huffed a breath and pawed at the frozen ground, but didn't make to move away. It seemed perfectly happy with the contact, and tears pricked Celeste's eyes as she carefully stroked down from the deer's brow to it's velvety nose. She couldn't believe a truly wild animal was being so docile, that it was allowing her to pet it.

“It's okay, as long as you move slow,” she murmured, unable to take her eyes off the stag.

“Um... that's okay. I don't want to piss it off,” he replied, sounding a little nervous.

“City boy,” she teased, keeping her voice low. “You won't piss him off, as long as you're gentle.”

Out the corner of her eye, Celeste noticed how Jax looked between her and where her hand was still lightly stroking the deer, before he tentatively reached out to let the stag sniff his fingers. She was almost certain Jax was holding his breath, though his chocolate eyes softened when the deer nudged his hand; a look of wonder crossing his handsome face as he began to pet the stag's nose.

“Wow...” he breathed.

Celeste just smiled indulgently, basking in the moment until the deer decided it had had enough, and stepped away before bounding off into the forest. She laughed softly then, tucking a few errant strands of her auburn hair behind her ear, when the breeze ruffled it out the French twist she'd tried it in.

“That was... wild. Literally,” Jax chuckled, wrapping his arm back around her shoulders. “You're right, I am a city boy. All this country stuff is new to me.”

“The grounds of a vampire castle is hardly country living,” she teased. “But I could teach you a few winter holiday traditions from back home, if you like.”

Jax gave her a slightly incredulous look. “You're going to tell me you lived on a farm, aren't you?”

“A ranch,” she corrected, unabashed.

“I'm dating a cowgirl...” he stated, shaking his head seemingly in disbelief.

“I think the fact I'm dating a vampire trumps that,” Celeste laughed.

Despite ribbing him, she wrapped her arms tightly around Jax' waist, though he gently cupped her cheek, his thumb lightly sweeping along her lower lip as she looked up at him. Smiling softly, Celeste pushed up to meet Jax half way as he leant down; his lips were warm and inviting, his tongue teasing before it started a languid dance with hers. The kiss was slow and unhurried, as if Jax was savouring the moment... or committing it to memory... while the snow started to fall again in gentle eddies. Celeste held him tighter, not wanting their stolen reprieve to end. Jax' hand that had been cradling her cheek moved to untie her auburn waves, whilst his other settled on the small of her back, holding her impossibly close. Celeste hummed her approval, even as Jax broke their kiss to trail his lips along her jaw, down her throat, until he could gentle graze her pulse point; first teasingly with his fangs, the soothingly with a soft kiss. Unable to help herself, she tipped her head back and arched into the feeling.

“Too good,” Celeste whispered, very aware where they were.

“There's no such thing,” he replied, pausing to give her another lingering kiss. “You deserve the best. You deserve _everything_.”

“You sap,” she chuckled, wrapping her arms around his broad shoulders.

Jax hummed his agreement, as he leant his forehead against hers and smile indulgently. “Only for you.”


	4. Eye of the Beholder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jax wasn't sure what to make of her covered in blood from the fight with Klempf, sat on the floor and happily letting some creature hop into her lap. A creature that certainly was not cute, no matter what she insisted; especially when part of one of it's ear had just fallen off, splattering green goo on the floor. He also wasn't sure what to make of the werewolf... Cal... crouching down beside her, closer than was strictly neccassary. Nor did he know what to make of the way Adrian gently swept her hair back behind her shoulder for her, when the creature started sniffing at her locks. However, Jax was mostly preoccupied by the way she lovingly carried the monstrosity as they walked around the building, and not for the first time, he realised that she really was an odd person. But considering he was a vampire besotted with her, a human, Jax guessed he couldn't really complain.

Jax wasn't sure what to make of Celeste, covered in blood from her and the werewolf's fight with Klempf, sat on the floor that was littered with henchmen corpses, happily letting some... _creature_ hop into her lap, a creature that certainly was not cute, no matter what Celeste insisted. It was some sort of creepy rabbit-deer-undead hybrid. With six glowing green eyes, grey fur, purple ears, fangs, a lolling tongue and skeletal back legs. There was literally no fathomable way the thing could be considered _cute_ by any stretch of the imagination, yet there was Celeste cooing over it like it was some adorable little animal; like part of one of it's ear hadn't just fallen off, splattering green goo on the floor.

“What... is that?” the werewolf... Cal... stated, cautiously crouching down beside Celeste.

“Whatever it is, it's adorable,” she gushed, smiling gently at the monstrosity.

“Quuueeeeg queeeeg!” the creature screeched, almost grinning.

“I think it's technically a jackalope, but... I kind of pictured them cuter,” Adrian stated, hesitantly.

“Quuuueeg?” the creature whined, it's ears drooping pathetically.

Celeste cradled the thing gently in her arms. “Ignore them, they're just being mean. You're the cutest thing.”

“Heeeyyy... I think it's plenty cute!” Lily defended. “You know, ugly cute!”

“I feel like I ought to put it out of it's misery...” Jax muttered, eyeing the creature distrustfully.

“Try it,” Celeste shot back, her tone low and threatening.

He held up his hands placatingly, pointedly ignoring the way Cal looked between them and grinned... he also pointedly ignored the way Adrian gently swept Celeste's auburn hair back behind her shoulder for her, when the creature started sniffing at her loose curls. However, Jax couldn't ignore the way Celeste lovingly carried the monstrosity as they walked around the building; checking to see if there was anyone else that needed freeing.

“So... I guess that's it. No one else to rescue,” Jax stated, watching the way Celeste gently scratched between what was left of the creature's ears.

The thing began to purr. Loudly.

“I guess the question is... what do we do now?” Cal said, also watching the way she pet the monstrosity.

“We have to free the animals,” Celeste insisted, her attention still mostly on the creature.

“I could set the cells to open up in a hour, after we're long gone,” Lily advised, pulling a laptop out of her bag.

“Except for the doll,” Celeste added. “That thing should burn.”

“I can live with that,” Kamilah agreed, before shockingly going over and lightly stroking the jackalope's back.

Jax shook his head in disbelief, even as Adrian asked: “You're... not adopting it, are you?”

Celeste sighed, sadly. “I'd love to, but it's a wild animal. It needs it's freedom.”

Unable to help it, Jax breathed a silent sigh of relief; or at least he thought it was silent, until Cal turned and grinned at him knowingly. He shrugged then, not willing to admit the creature gave him the creeps, whilst still struggling to wrap his head around Celeste's easy acceptance of the thing. He watched as she gave the creature's head one last gentle scritch, before setting it loose to roam the wilds of the Nevada desert.

“Do you think it'll be okay out there?” Celeste asked, as they watched the thing hop away... another part of it's ear sliding off as it went.

Cal rested a hand on her shoulder. “It surprisingly didn't smell like prey, so I'm sure it will be fine.”

“And all the stories I've heard about Jackalopes say they're fearsome creatures,” Adrian added. “Very difficult and dangerous for humans to hunt.”

“What about vampires?” she retorted, smiling slightly.

“No vampire in their right mind would want to hunt that thing,” Jax stated, reaching for her hand.

“Yes... because sanity is what I immediately associate with vampires,” Celeste smirked, lacing her fingers with his.

“Just what are you implying?” Adrian chuckled.

“You've met the rest of the council, right? Priya, Lester, the Baron... does 'sane' come to mind when you think of those three?” she asked, knowingly.

“You have a point,” Jax conceded, before leaning into whisper: “About them... but I'll never agree that _thing_ was cute.”


	5. Foreshadowing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trying not to think about the vampire ash that clung to her clothes, or the sludge they'd just walked through to escape the old temple, she headed towards Jax and carefully wrapped her arms around him from behind. The whole ordeal with Gaius had been a shit show, and the only peace of mind she had was that she'd dealt with that traitor Jameson herself; though that didn't negate the fact it was painfully obvious that Jax was trembling, to the point he had to lean against the counter for support. So barely biting back a sigh, she led him to a chair and ordered him to sit, before tilting her head to the side to expose her neck in clear invitation. It was hardly the first time she'd let him feed on her, and she honestly didn't mind... but she really wished they'd stop finding themselves in life or death situations. It was getting ridiculous.

Trying not to think about the vampire ash that clung to her clothes, or the sludge they'd just walked through to escape the old temple, Celeste helped Kamilah into one of the safehouse's chairs, before firing off a quick text to Lily; asking her to bring enough blood for their friends to heal. The whole ordeal with Gaius had been a shit show, and the only satisfaction Celeste had was that she'd dealt with that traitor Jameson herself. The knowledge that he at least couldn't hurt her friends again pushed her onward, and she gave Adrian's shoulder a comforting squeeze as she passed, heading towards her boyfriend who was hurriedly washing the blood and grime off his handsome face. Without hesitation, Celeste carefully wrapped her arms around Jax from behind, her cheek pressing against his shoulder blade.

“Jax, maybe you should sit down,” she suggested, gently.

“I'm fine,” he grit out. “I'm not the only one who got their ass handed to him by that monster.”

Celeste sighed. Of course he was right... Kamilah had a nasty burn to her chest, whilst Adrian had an arm protectively around his stomach... but that wasn't the point. They at least had the common sense to be sat down, whilst Jax was still wavering on his feet.

“That wasn't my point,” she replied, quietly. “I know you're not alright.”

“No. I'm pissed off, and too weak to do anything about it,” he snapped, turning to face her.

It was painfully obvious that Jax was trembling, to the point he had to lean against the counter for support. Barely biting back another sigh, Celeste took her boyfriend's hand and led him to another chair before ordering him to sit. Jax scoffed, but actually obeyed and she knelt in front of him; tilting her head to the side, whilst sweeping her auburn hair out the way, exposing her neck.

“Lily might not be here for a while, so just feed on me, okay?” she offered, lightly squeezing his fingers.

Jax stared at her, seemingly shocked. “What? Seriously?”

Unable to help it, Celeste rolled her eyes. “Yes, seriously. It'd hardly the first time you've fed on me.”

He looked away, seeming almost embarrassed... or regretful. She wasn't sure.

“Jax... it's okay,” she soothed, cupping his face. “I trust you, and I want to help.”

His eyes searched hers for a long, drawn out moment, before he nodded and leant down towards her. His trembling hands braced on her shoulders, obviously keeping himself steady as he gently nuzzled her neck. At first, all Celeste felt was his soft lips caressing the side of her throat, before his fangs punctured her skin. Unable to help it, she winced; it was far less gentle than it had been in the past, but considering the way Jax desperately clung to her shoulders like he was about to keel over, he drank much slower than she'd expected. Without thinking, Celeste gently carded her fingers through his black hair until Jax slowly pulled away, he smiled at her as he carefully sealed the puncture wounds with a drop of his own blood, before he lightly kissed her forehead.

“I think I needed that more than I knew. Thank you,” he murmured.

“Any time, Jax. You know that,” she whispered, gently stroking her thumb over his cheekbone.

He cradled her hand against his cheek, before pressing a feather-light kiss to the inside of her wrist. “I don't deserve you.”

“Of course you do,” Celeste replied, smiling softly. “You help me and I help you. We look out for each other... pretty sure that's how we met.”

Jax huffed a quiet laugh, as he helped her up only to gently tugged her to sit in his lap. “I think you'll find I saved your ass from trouble Adrian got you into.”

She shrugged, though didn't deny the fact. “And you were so busy being a hero that you nearly keeled over from blood loss.”

“Not a lot has changed then,” he acknowledged, hugging her close.

“No...” she said at length, pressing a kiss to his temple. “And we'll get through this together, like we've dealt with everything else.”

It was Jax' turn to sigh. “I wish I had your confidence, Celeste.”

She wrapped her arms around him, holding him close. “I've just got the notorious ladies' man Matsuo to be a one-woman-guy, so there's no way I'm letting you go without a fight. We will get through this, Jax. I promise. Even if I have to kill Giaus myself.”


	6. Little Talks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Having hurriedly packed their belongings, and rushing from Kamilah's Prague office to Adrian's private jet, she was struggled to catch her breath; her adrenaline still running high from what had happened with Dracula's castle, not to mention fleeing the Order. She hadn't even had a chance to talk to Jax... and she knew it was a conversation they desperately needed to have... but as she slumped into a plush leather chair, it seemed she wasn't even going to catch a break to even organise her thoughts. Because Lily sat down opposite her, grinning a smile that could only mean trouble.

Having hurriedly packed their belongings, and rapidly changing into something easier to move in than formal wear, the five of them had rushed from Kamilah's Prague office and all but ran to Adrian's private jet. Celeste struggled to catch her breath, her adrenaline still running high from what had happened in Dracula's castle and fleeing the Order, as she slumped into a plush leather chair. But it seemed she wasn't going to catch a break to even organise her thoughts, because after they'd barely taken off, Lily sat down opposite, grinning a smile that boded trouble.

"So... did you do the Transylvanian twist?” the woman asked.

Celeste just rolled her eyes.

“Or maybe... the Monster mash?” the tech expert goaded.

“Lily!” she hissed, exasperated.

“Oh my god! You did!” Lily crowed. “Give us all the juicy details...”

“Please spare us,” Jax muttered.

Celeste looked over at him, her heart constricting painfully when he wouldn't meet her gaze. She knew she'd hurt him, and that they really needed to talk... in private... but she couldn't just let it go. If it was just Lily and her speculation, Celeste might have ignored it, but with Adrian and Kamilah also listening, she just couldn't.

“I wasn't like that,” Celeste stated, tiredly. “I played to his vanity and slipped the hemlock into his wine when he was distracted, like Kamilah suggested. But he might have noticed, since he took our glasses away not long after. We continued talking and he started to seem suspicious, so I did the only thing I could think of.”

“You seduced him,” Lily grinned.

“For the mission,” Kamilah interrupted, reaching over to squeeze her hand affectionately. “You did admirably, Celeste.”

“I'm sorry we put you in that position,” Adrian apologised, leaning over and resting his hand comfortingly over their entwined fingers.

Celeste shrugged. “It needed to be done, and we got what we wanted.”

“Are you okay?” Jax asked, quietly.

Both Kamilah and Adrian withdrew their hands, and blessedly distracted Lily so Celeste could get up and take a seat beside her boyfriend. To her utter relief, Jax wrapped his arm her shoulders and held her tightly. For several minutes, they just sat in silence with Celeste cuddling in as close as she could, simply relieved to be back in his arms.

“I'm sorry,” she whispered.

Jax' lips grazed her forehead. “You're not to one I'm mad at. You shouldn't have been in that position, I should have been able to protect you.”

“We protect each other,” she countered. “We always have, and always will.”

“You still shouldn't have had to do that,” he insisted.

“It kept you all safe, so it was worth it,” Celeste replied, sincerely.

“I don't deserve you,” Jax murmured, pressing another soft kiss to her forehead.

“You deserve me as much as I deserve you,” she countered, smiling gently.

He gave a quiet laugh as he tugged her into his lap, though just before he captured her lips he murmured: “Celeste... never change.”


	7. Masamune

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She could see it in Jax eyes whenever he looked at her, that he was waiting for her to lash out, like he expected her to be angry that he'd turned her. She knew he felt guilty that she'd woken up alone, that she'd had to dig herself out of her own grave, because they'd thought she was truly gone. She knew Jax believed that he was responsible for her death, purely for the fact that Gaius had used his katana to kill her. It wasn't right. So with her gaze now locked with Jax', she slowly moved their joined hands to rest over the hilt of the katana. He winced as if it burned, tears welling in his chocolate eyes as he searched her face. He looked so haunted... almost broken... that she felt her heart shatter. She had to do something to make it right.

Celeste could see it in Jax eyes whenever he looked at her, that he was waiting for her to lash out. Like he expected her to be angry that he'd turned her, that he'd somehow managed to save her life, even if it had taken four days to work. She knew he felt guilty that she'd woken up alone, that she'd had to dig herself out of her own grave because they'd thought she was truly gone. However, despite the fact Celeste was still trying to process that she'd died... rather than the fact she was now a vampire... she'd never once blamed Jax for any of it. She knew part of his guilt was because of how angry and scared he'd been when he was turned, and another was because he'd never tried to turn anyone before her, but that wasn't the worst of it. Celeste knew Jax believed that _he_ was responsible for her death, purely for the fact that Gaius had used his katana to kill her. So the moment they entered the training room and she saw a blade shrouded by a cloth, Celeste _knew_ what sword it was. Of course, Jax also immediately noticed where her attention had gone and he visibly winced.

“Oh. I... I should have gotten rid of it. I didn't...”

“No, it's okay,” she said, quietly. Her eyes not leaving the shroud. “I want to see it.”

His fingertips lightly stroked down her arm before Jax silently walked over to the sword. Nervously, Celeste fiddled with the ends of her auburn waves, though when he looked at her, Celeste dropped her hands back to her sides, although she fought the urge to wring her hands. She took a grounding breath... an action that Jax seemed to mirror... then at her nod of confirmation, he finally removed the cover and revealed the katana. Slowly, Celeste moved to join him; catching his trembling hand in hers, even though her gaze remained on the blade that had ended her life. She could still vividly remember Gaius' maniacal grin when he'd plunged the sword into her chest, just as clearly as she could remember how shocked yet excited Jax had looked, when she'd asked to take his clan marking just a hour ago.

“Celeste? You... okay?” he asked, cautiously.

“Yeah, just... remembering,” she replied, hoarsely.

“I'm sorry,” Jax apologised, his voice tinged with grief. “I... I didn't know what to do with it afterwards. This sword once meant the world to me, but... after what Gaius did... I couldn't bare to touch it.” He took a shuddering breath, the trembling in his hand getting more noticeable as he squeezed her fingers. “He killed you, Celeste. He killed you with _my_ sword.”

She swallowed thickly at the sheer emotion in his tone. “Jax, it's not the sword's fault.”

“I know. But every time I see it, I just remember that moment and...” He paused to shake his head. “I shouldn't have kept it. I should have it melted down.”

“No,” Celeste stated, quiet but firmly. “You had this sword long before you met me, right?”

“Decades.”

“You said it was important to you?” she pressed, reaching out to caress the sword hilt at the same time her thumb smoothed over his knuckles.

There was a drawn out silence before Jax whispered: “... very.”

“That's what matters,” Celeste insisted, finally tearing her eyes away from the blade. “What this sword meant to you before, the reasons why you treasured it... that's what's important. You had it the night we met, when you saved me from the Baron. How many other times did this sword save my life, our lives, before... before Gaius?”

With her gaze now locked with Jax', she slowly moved their joined hands to rest over the hilt of the katana. He winced as if it burned, tears welling in his chocolate eyes as he searched her face. He looked so haunted... almost broken... that her heart constricted at the sight.

“Can you really not bare to touch it?” she asked, gently.

Jax shook his head, and removed his hand the moment Celeste unlaced her fingers with his. She looked between him and the katana, her heart hammering. She'd always known how important the blade had been to Jax, and so much of their own history was tied to the sword; moments that meant so much more to her than what Gaius had done. The thought of him melting it down made Celeste feel physically sick, it seemed like he'd be destroying a part of himself, and she refused to let him do that. But if he couldn't bare to use it, there was really only one solution she could see. So after taking a steadying breath, very aware of the way Jax' eyes were trained on her, Celeste slowly closed her hand around the hilt.

“Would... would you let me use it?” she asked, raising her gaze to meet his.

He cupped her face gently in his calloused hands. “You want... are you... Celeste...?”

“I know I lost the last one you gave me,” she tried to joke. “I promise I'll be more careful.”

An almost strangled sounding laugh was startled out of Jax, before he simply rested his forehead against hers, giving her such a bittersweet smile that tears pricked Celeste's eyes.

“Let me use it to fight for us,” she whispered.

“Always,” he murmured, before pressing his lips to hers.

The kiss was both soft and yearning as well as intense and unrelenting. Jax's strong arms wrapped firmly around her waist, and Celeste let go of the katana so her hands could bunch the collar of his leather jacket, in order to pull him impossibly closer. She could almost taste his desperation, relief and grief mingling together as Jax deepened their kiss, and Celeste tried to pour all her pent up emotion into the press of their lips; embracing the unquestionable love she felt for him but hadn't yet confessed.

“You're something else, you know that,” Jax mumbled, as he buried his face in the crook of her neck.

Celeste huffed a watery laugh as she hugged him tightly. “Somehow, you make that sound like a compliment.”


	8. Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She propped the blood stained sword carefully against the leather sofa then sat down beside Jax. She couldn't imagine how he felt, watching Takeshi die in front of him, when he'd already mourned the man once. It hurt to see Jax so upset, so defeated. She wished there was something she could do, some way she could make it all just a little more bearable for Jax, and tears pricking her eyes in sympathy when he started to cry. She didn't have a clue what to do to help, but one thing she did know, there was no way she was leaving Jax alone tonight.

Celeste propped the blood stained odachi sword carefully against the leather sofa then sat down beside Jax, laying a hand on his back, unable to ignore the way he shuddered with barely held back sobs. She couldn't imagine how he felt, watching Takeshi die in front of him when they hadn't even made peace with each other... when he'd already mourned the man once. It hurt to see Jax so defeated, slumped with his head bent, elbows propped on his thighs and hands hanging limply in between his knees. Celeste wished there was something she could do, some way she could make it just a little more bearable for Jax; he'd told Takeshi she was his world just days ago, but she felt so useless as she leant her forehead against his temple, tears pricking her eyes in sympathy.

“Jax, I'm so sorry,” she whispered, her free hand curling around one of his. “I know it doesn't mean much right now, but I am. I'm so sorry...”

His breath hitched as he leant into her, his head moving to rest on her shoulder. “He... why did he have to do that? Why did he throw his life away?”

“He was saving you. Saving all of us,” Celeste murmured, wrapping her arm around him. “He loved you. You know that, right? He loved you like a son. He died to save you. To give you a chance at life. That was his choice... maybe that was his choice all along.”

“... I just can't believe he's gone,” Jax stated, his breath shuddering.

“He's not gone, love. So long as you remember him, he won't be gone. Not really. You'll carry him with you wherever you go,” she comforted, before letting go of his hand to reach for Takeshi's odachi. “And... there's also this...”

Carefully, Celeste pulled the sword onto her lap, making Jax sit up as he realised what exactly she was holding. The metal of the long blade shone faintly beneath the bloodstains in the club's blue light, whilst tears silently rolled down Jax' cheeks as he hesitantly reached for the odachi, his hand trembling as he caressed the hilt.

“That's...”

“I couldn't leave it,” she explained, quietly. “I had just enough time to grab it before running... I figured you'd want to have it.”

“Takeshi loved this sword,” he murmured, as he gently lifted the odachi off her lap. “It was the one possession he kept from Japan... for hundreds of years...”

“I think he'd want you to have it,” Celeste whispered.

Jax carefully turned the odachi sword over in his hands, regarding it with obvious reverence. “For all his flaws... when it mattered most, Takeshi took this blade and fought for those he loved.” His tear filled eyes locked with hers, as he slung the sword over his back and fixed it into place beside his own katana. “When I wield this sword... when I use it to protect the ones _I_ love... I'll think of him. Always.”

Celeste cupped his handsome face before pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead. “I know you will, love... let me know if you need anything, okay?”

His calloused hands rested over the back of hers, as he rested his forehead against her. “I... I know I've said this before, but really... thank you, Celeste... for sticking by me through everything. I love you.”

“I love you too, Jax,” she smiled, sadly. “And I'm here. Always. Whatever you need.”

He curled his fingers around hers, moving her hands until he could press tender kisses to her knuckles. “Can we go somewhere...”

“Quieter?” Celeste guessed.

Jax nodded, his gaze not quite meeting hers, but she gave him an understanding smile all the same. Now that the adrenaline was wearing off, Celeste ached all over and her whirling emotions were making her exhausted... so adding Jax' grief into the mix, she supposed it was a small wonder he wasn't dead on his feet. So she gave his hands a gentle tug, helping him up before they wandered hand-in-hand down to the rooms beneath the club. They walked aimlessly, though still managed to stumble upon an empty bedroom. The room reminded Celeste of the first apartment she'd ever had in New York, a tiny studio in a converted warehouse that looked over the river, though the large windows here looked out at several towering Tokyo skyscrapers. Wordlessly, they mutually ignored the sofa and headed for the bed that was crammed against the exposed brick wall, sitting down heavily on the crisp white sheets; Jax taking a moment to unclip both swords and lay the blades gently on the wooden coffee table in front of them.

“What can I do, Jax?” she whispered, desperately wanting to _do_ something.

“Kiss me.”

A barely there smile played on Celeste's mouth, as she looked into Jax' tear filled eyes. “I think I can do that.”

She leant forward, her fingertips wiping away a few escaped tears before she tenderly pressed her lips to his. Jax' arms slowly slipped around her waist, pulling her close as she gently carded her fingers through his jet black hair. Celeste caught the lingering scent of his cologne, and tasted a faint hint of mint when Jax sought to deepen the kiss. Naturally, she readily granted his silent request, kissing him slowly. Thoroughly. Pouring all the love she felt for him into the kiss, until he broke away; his shuddering breath ghosting over her face as he leant his forehead against hers.

“I don't want to be alone,” Jax murmured.

“I'm here,” she assured.

After pressing another soft kiss to his unresisting lips, Celeste helped him out of his customary leather jacket and they both kicked off their shoes, before she coaxed Jax to lay down with her; her arms wrapping around him, as he buried his face in the crook of her neck. His body shuddered as he silently cried, his tears rolling across her collar bone, making Celeste tighten her hold. She wasn't sure how long they simply lay together, but eventually the door to the room slowly opened and Lily's worried face peered in, before she quietly walked over to the bed and settled down behind Jax; sandwiching him between them. His breath shuddered as Lily wrapped an arm around his waist, cuddling in close. Celeste wasn't shocked her best friend had found them, but she was mildly surprised that Kamilah and Adrian weren't far behind her. Celeste shared a pained look with the Egyptian before she settled on the bed pressed up against Lily's back, reaching over to entwine her hand with Jax' that rested on Celeste's hip. Adrian kicked off his shoes before quietly stepping on the bed then carefully squeezed himself behind Celeste; his back pressed flush to the bare brick wall, as one of his hands began to play with her auburn waves and the other reached over to settle on Jax' shoulder, causing his breath to shudder again. No words were said between them, but Celeste couldn't help pressing another kiss to Jax' forehead... hoping he understood how much he was loved, and that he'd never be alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm pretty sure I wasn't the only Jax fan that was seriously annoyed we could only chose to spend the night with Kamilah and Adrian, especially after leaving Jax to mourn in the club alone! It bothered me so much that I had to write this oneshot.


	9. Vow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After everything that had happened with Gaius, she honest though Jax hated her... for not killing the him when she had the chance; because Jax was right, Gaius was a monster, but a useful one, now she'd broken the hold Rheya had over him. However, Jax had been so angry, so heartbroken. She'd truly worried that sparing Gaius' life for his help killing a greater enemy had cost her Jax... she wouldn't have held it against him if it had. But as his hand slowly entwined with hers, she couldn't help breathing a sigh of relief. It felt like she could breathe again. However, she didn't want to leave things unsaid to fester, she didn't want resentment to to grow between them... Jax meant too much to her for that to happen... so after taking a steadying breath she turned to him, determined to address the white elephant in the room.

As they walked away from their small group, Celeste couldn't help hoping the other's wouldn't kill Gaius... or Captain Bighair McMurder as Jax now called him... before he proved himself useful; she didn't like him, couldn't stand him in fact after everything he'd done, but after breaking the control Rheya had on him, Celeste felt she could understand him better. Perhaps even more than he understood himself which was a terrifying thought, but Kamilah was right, Gaius' one good deed for deciding to help them didn't negate the millennia of horror he'd inflicted; not to mention the way he'd turned Kamilah by force, groomed Adrian into being his killer, had Jameson target Lily, murdered Takeshi in cold blood and rob Jax of his chance of reconciliation... and the fact he'd _killed_ her. He'd been the ultimate evil in Celeste's nightmares for so long, but after connecting with his mind and freeing him for Rheya's poisonous control, she no longer feared Gaius. But those thoughts slipped away as Jax' hand entwined with hers, and Celeste couldn't help breathing a sigh of relief, despite the eerily quiet forest that surrounded them. In all honesty, she'd thought he'd hate her when she'd brought a defeated Gaius to the club, instead of killing him outright. But even though he wouldn't look at her at the time, Celeste had known he'd understood her reasoning. During the small funeral they'd held for Takeshi, when Jax had handed her the box of ashes to say a few words, she knew he'd somewhat forgiven her but it wasn't until he finally took her hand again, that Celeste felt like she could finally breathe. However, she didn't want to leave things unsaid to fester, she didn't want resentment to grow between them... he meant too much to her for that to happen... so even though she didn't want this conversation, Celeste knew Jax deserved the chance to shout at her if he wanted.

“So...” she began, barely glancing at him.

“So?”

“So... Gaius is back and he's helping us,” she stated, taking a steadying breath before turning to face him. “I... know you have feelings about that.”

“Feelings? Oh yeah, I have _feelings_ ,” Jax replied, angrily. “He's a monster, Celeste. I don't give a damn how sad his story it. For what he did to Takeshi... to _you_... he needs to pay. I need you to know this. Even if he helps us, even if he takes down Rheya himself... when this is done, I'm putting him down.”

“I know, Jax,” she said, simply.

He took a shuddering breath as he looked up at the sky, visible thanks to the withered trees that loomed above them, whilst his hand that hadn't let go of hers trembled. Celeste squeezed his fingers, hoping to give Jax some form of comfort but not knowing what the hell to say. She felt responsible for the anguish he was suffering, and the guilt settled in her gut like a red-hot weight, which only got worse when she saw the pain in Jax' chocolate eyes when he looked at her again.

“God... when he hurt you... when he killed you...” he whispered, his free hand reaching up to cup her face. “A part of me died too. A part I've never gotten back.”

Celeste tilted her head and pressed a kiss to his palm, before she leant her forehead against his and murmured: “I'm here, Jax. I'm with you now, and I'll always be with you... knowing I have eternity with you... that was worth dying for.”

A tiny smile pulled at the corner of his mouth. “Goddamn. I'm so lucky to have you.”

She searched his eyes for a moment, and when she found nothing but love looking back at her, Celeste leant forward and pressed her lips lightly to his. Jax responded immediately, wrapping his arms tightly around her waist... carefully avoiding her katana... and pulled her close, as she began to card her fingers through his wind ruffled hair. She could smell the scent of his cologne that faintly clung to his skin as well as a hint of leather from his jacket, and tasted the liquor they'd shared with the others as his tongue started a languid dance with hers. She kissed him slowly, thoroughly, trying to pour everything she felt for him into their kiss. But eventually, they pulled away from each other, their foreheads resting together as they simply indulged in each other's presence.

“I love you, Celeste,” he murmured, his calloused fingers stroking her cheek.

“I love you too, Jax. More than anything.”

“I'd die for you, you know that right,” he whispered, his eyes locked with hers.

“This relationship already has one self sacrificing idiot, we don't need another,” Celeste replied, her heart suddenly racing in fear at his words.

“Too soon,” Jax murmured, his eyes shining wetly.

Celeste cradled his handsome face in her hands, tears pricking her eyes. “So can we agree on neither of us dying then? We both deserve a happy ending after everything we've gone through.”

He took a shuddering breath and nodded. “That... sounds really good.”

“Thinking of a future with you is the only thing that gets me through the day any more,” Celeste admitted, leaning forward to gently brush her lips against his. “A life without you by my side wouldn't be worth living.”

“You're my world,” he whispered, cradling her face. “Nothing will ever change that.”

“Marry me?” she said, impulsively but completely seriously.

Jax chuckled, clearly shocked. “What?”

“Marry me,” Celeste repeated. “When all this is over, marry me.”

“Seriously?” he asked, his gaze suddenly intense and searching hers.

“A hundred percent.”

Without warning, Jax surged forward and wrapped her in a hug that picked her clean off her feet. “Yes!”

“Seriously?” she grinned, feeling almost giddy.

“A hundred percent.”

He laughed again as he set her down, his lips crashing to hers in a fierce kiss before he pulled back to smile at her. Celeste cupped his face in her hands, his stubble tickling her palms as her thumbs stroked over his cheekbones. For one drawn out moment, they simply regarded each other, and she tried to memorise the way Jax looked bathed in the moonlight, before he gently tugged her close, hugging her tight.

“We really should get some sleep,” Jax said, nuzzling her throat.

“Will you hold me?” she asked, quietly.

He pulled back to look at her, his expression soft yet serious as he replied: “Forever.”


	10. Bloodletting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fire and pain laced through her body, as she raised her shaking hands into her field of view, finding them coated with ash. She was terrified of what she'd done. Lily slowly lowered her crossbow as she stared at her best friend, or at least what her best friend had become, and was torn between rushing to her side and running for her life. Gaius crashed to his knees, looking up at her with eternal devotion. He had done her so much wrong, yet she'd shown him kindness. She'd become the guiding light in his darkest time, and he gladly fell at her feet. Adrian couldn't deny the rush of love and the fierce need to protect that washed over him, as he looked at her. Despite her loving someone else, he still knelt at her feet, knowing he'd become whatever she wanted or needed him to be. Kamilah barely dared to breathe as she watched the scene unfold in front of her. She knew her friend hadn't wanted the power, she didn't want to become warped like Rheya. So Kamilag gripped her dagger and waited. Jax was heedless to the silent tears that rolled down his cheeks, as he took a tentative step towards her. He needed her. He couldn't live without her. It wasn't supposed to be like this... it was all so very wrong.

Fire and pain, lacing through her body, that's all Celeste could feel. Screams from terrified humans and vampires alike was all she could hear. The scent of blood and smoke and ash hung cloyingly in the air. Her vision was tinged with white, and her hands shook violently as she raised them into her field of view, finding them coated with ash. Her heart raced, her pulse thundered in her ears, and bile threatened to rise in her throat. What had she done?

* * *

Lily slowly lowered her crossbow, her chest heaving from exertion as she stared at her best friend... or at least, what her best friend had become. Because loyal, kind, determined Celeste who had a smile that lit up the whole damn room did not have freaky, glowy eyes. She didn't give off village-of-the-damned vibes. But the woman up on that stage was not Celeste. The woman who'd screamed in rage and pain, the woman who was covered in blood and ash wasn't Celeste. She was a stranger, a terrifying stranger, and Lily was torn between rushing to her side to try bring Celeste back... and running for her life.

* * *

Gaius walked forward on trembling legs, before crashing to his knees at her feet, heedless of the ash and blood that stained the floor. She was resplendent; her porcelain skin stained with blood, her auburn hair wild and set ablaze in the lit of the fires that crackled around them, and her once green eyes now shone with an ethereal light. He had always admired her beauty, even when she'd been human, but now she was a vision. A priceless work of art. An awe inspiring sight. He had done her so much wrong, treated her and those she cared about with such cruelty... and yet she'd hugged him on that boat, wrapped her arms around him, cradled him close. She'd _cared_ for him. Even when they were only brought together by the most intangible thread, she had tried to understand him, tried to guide him along the right path. She'd been the one to free him from Rheya's curse, she had been the one to grant him the chance of vengeance, she had become the guiding light in his darkest time. His beloved goddess had betrayed him just as his cherish queen had done, whilst his princess had not been strong enough to remain at his side. But then the most radiant celestial being had come into his life, and despite the array of reasons not to, she had shown him kindness for kindness' sake. She had told him her hug was 'merely' to show him that kindness still existed in such a cruel world... as if her gesture could ever be a _mere_ thing. In the wake that had followed that blessed embrace, he had uttered his foolish desire into the wind: “perhaps in another life”. Yet here they were, taking the first tentative steps into a new world that she had created. A new life that she had ushered in. So Gaius gladly fell at her feet, looking up at her with eternal devotion, uttering her name as a reverent prayer... his Celeste.

* * *

When he'd first noticed Gaius moving towards her, Adrian had been propelled into action; forcing his still battered body to stagger towards Celeste, in a desperate attempt to shield her from any harm his creator might try to inflict... kicking that cursed dagger far away from them, on the off chance Gaius thought to attack Celeste with the corrupt blade. But then he'd watched in amazement as his creator dropped to his knees at her feet, looking up at her with such unmistakable adoration that Adrian had stopped in his tracks. It was a look he knew all too well, he'd seen it on his own face enough times in the photographs Lily insisted on taking after all. So slowly, Adrian approached the silent pair. He'd been captivated by Celeste from the moment he'd first set eyes on her, and had been dedicated to her since the moment she'd chosen to remain in his life... in his world... when she'd refused to have her memory wiped. He'd always felt such overwhelming gratitude towards the plucky human, that he'd never shied away from his growing feelings, as foolish as they were. He'd fallen fast and hard for the most vivacious woman he'd ever met. Celeste's kind and caring nature had reminded Adrian so much of his beloved wife, but she also possessed a fiercely courageous spirit that set her apart from everyone else he'd ever met. She'd made him feel wanted, valued and cherished without seeming to try. She brightened a room by just walking into it. But he'd been forced to watch her fall in love with someone else.

It had _hurt_ , it still hurt, it probably always would... though perhaps it hurt even more now, thanks to the few times Celeste and Jax had welcomed him into their bed, so to speak. Adrian knew the taste of her sweet blood and her intoxicating lips, he knew the sounds of her breathy moans and her whispered sweet nothings, he knew the smell of his cologne mixing with the scent of her perfume, he knew how it felt to make love to her and what it felt like to simply lay in her arms. But even away from that, Adrian knew what it felt like to be cared for by Celeste, loved by her... even if it wasn't the all consuming way she'd ensnared him. She'd been his tangible humanity before Gaius had killed her, then his reason to keep fighting once she was turned and miraculously came back to them. She was his everything, even though her heart belong to another, and he would always leap at any opportunity to shower her with the devotion she deserved. Even looking at Celeste now... with her visibly trembling hands marred with ash and blood, with her usually gorgeous green eyes glowing with unmistakable power... Adrian couldn't deny the rush of love and the fierce need to protect that washed over him, as always. Even though she was with Jax, he knew he would always be her man. He would always be whatever she wanted or needed him to be. So for the first time in nearly a century, he followed his creator's lead and knelt at her feet, just as Gaius did. Though tears pricked Adrian's eyes as he looked up at her, hoping... praying... he'd see Celeste's gentle smile again.

* * *

Kamilah barely dared to breathe as she watched the scene unfold in front of her; watching how Gaius and Adrian both drop to their knees at Celeste's feet, in acts of obvious adoration and utter subservience. It made her skin crawl. She'd overheard the redhead telling Jax of Gaius' “perhaps in another life” comment when they'd escaped that infernal island of decay, and after knowing of her creator's fanatical devotion to Rheya, not to mention the way in which he'd shaped _her_ to be his queen, warning bells had gone off in Kamilah's head... as Lily would probably say. In perfect honesty, she'd been terrified for what it would mean for the woman who'd become a sister to her. However Kamilah had hidden the fear, buried it deep down, knowing it would do Celeste no good to see her so unnerved, especially so close to their confrontation with Rheya. She'd done her best for the friend that had been her rock through Vega's betray, Gaius' return, and the devastation the first vampire had wrought. But although that was over now, Kamilah still felt no relief; just an ever growing feeling of dread that crawled up her spine, as she witnessed the man who'd been her brother for centuries, follow their creator's lead and fall in worship at their friend's feet.

A fine tremor rippled through Kamilah's hand as she wrapped her fingers tightly around the hilt of her remaining dagger, her eyes beginning to burn as tears threatened to form. But she grit her teeth, refusing to show any weakness. She _knew_ Celeste wouldn't want this. She knew her friend... her sister... hadn't wanted this terrible power. There had been countless dawns where Celeste had slipped out of Jax' arms, and they'd simply sat together sipping the closest thing she could get to tisane in this day and age, discussing topics Kamilah knew neither of them would ever breathe a word about to another soul. She knew Celeste's greatest fear had been becoming warped by power like Rheya had, whilst her biggest 'secret' was her desire to have a simple life with Jax, one where they weren't fighting for their lives or looking over their shoulders waiting for the next disaster to strike. Celeste had been looking forward to an eternity with the man she loved... but seeing her now, covered in blood and ash, her striking green eyes now glowing with an ominous power, Kamilah wasn't sure if her friend would ever get the future she'd dreamed of. Though as heart-wrenching as that was, it didn't mean she couldn't grant Celeste peace. She'd once said she'd burn the world to keep her sister safe, a fiery promise to do anything in her power to protect her friend and now looking at Celeste, Kamilah knew what she'd have to do; Adrian and Lily were both too weak to do it, and it would outright destroy Jax to even consider it, so Kamilah shifted her stance and adjusted her grip on the dagger. Poised. Ready. Determined to grant Celeste release, no matter the personal cost. Because Kamilah knew Celeste would be strong enough for her if their awful positions were reversed, because she loved her too much to let the darkness claim her.

* * *

Jax ran through the auditorium towards the stage, pushing back through the sea of terrified, panicked people he'd just been trying to usher out of the building at Celeste's earlier request. However, all he cared for now was getting back to her side. He didn't know what had happened, but he'd heard her pained and angry screams. They'd torn at him, constricted his heart, driven him to the brink of despair until all he could focus on was getting to Celeste. She was his world. He needed to see her, touch her, cradle her in his arms until it was all a distant nightmare-inducing memory. But as he rushed on to the stage, a barely upright Lily grabbed his arm, desperately holding him in place. It made Jax halt mid stride, and his gaze darted around the terrible scene in front of him; Celeste covered in ash and blood, her beautiful emerald eyes so alien as they glowed with white-hot power. She was starring at her hands, a look of abject horror obvious across her beautiful face despite the weirdness of her eyes, whilst both Adrian and Gaius inexplicably knelt at her feet. Bile rose in Jax' throat. What the hell was going on? This was all so very wrong. They were supposed to be planning a future, a life together... they'd even discussed adopting Lula. So silent tears rolled down Jax' cheeks as he took a tentative step closer to Celeste, then another, and another. He needed her. He couldn't live without her. He didn't _want_ to live without her. Seeing her like this... so unlike the woman he loved... was killing him all over again. This wasn't supposed to happen, it wasn't supposed to be this way, it wasn't supposed to end like this. It _couldn't_ end like this. He refused. So after taking a shuddering breath, Jax called her name and held out his hand, hoping... praying... there was enough of Celeste left that she'd reach for him too.


	11. Affirmation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adrian woke slowly, the feeling of fingers gently carding through his hair pulling him out of his doze, and for a drawn out moment he simply basked in the tender touch. But he quickly couldn't resist the urge to tilt his head and look at her, finding her distracting lips were curled into a gentle smile as she regarded him with sleepy eyes. But then his gaze travelled lower, sweeping down the elegant column of her throat, past her sheet covered bust, to where a toned arm wrapped protectively around her waist. The happy illusion burst, because she wasn't his... no matter how much he loved her, she was with Jax and it hurt. Though despite the pain, Adrian accepted every invitation they offered him, unable to turn down the fleeting chance to be with her; but as he looked at the wedding bands on their entwined fingers, he wasn't sure if could continue to torture himself any longer.

Adrian woke slowly, the feeling of fingers gently carding through his hair pulling him out of his doze. For a long drawn out moment, he simply lay there, basking in the tender touch; the intoxicating scent of her perfume still filling his lungs with each contented breath he took, until he could no longer resist the urge to tilt his head and look at her. Celeste was a vision, with her striking green eyes barely open and soft from sleep as she regarded him. Her distracting lips were curled into a gentle smile, and her auburn waves fell softly around her shoulders. A small, almost bashful smile formed on Adrian's own lips as he reached forward to carefully tuck some wayward strands behind her ear. In moments like these, when she looked at him so gently, he could almost fool himself into believing Celeste returned the feelings he had for her. But then his gaze travelled lower, sweeping down the elegant column of her throat, past her sheet covered bust, to where a toned arm wrapped protectively around her slender waist. That's when his bubble burst... where it always burst. It hurt so much that he'd been making a point of leaving almost the moment his heartbeat returned to normal, but this time had been different because for once, they'd ended up in his apartment... in his bed... which gave Adrian few places to run without making a fool of himself. But he had to go, he couldn't stay with the pain lancing through his heart, so he rolled away from her and sat at the edge of the bed.

“Where you going?” Celeste asked, her voice thick with sleep even as she reached to trail a finger down his bare spine. “It's almost dawn.”

“I left some paperwork in the office,” he lied, looking around the tangle of discarded clothes for his trousers.

“No you didn't,” she replied, sounding disappointed. “I'm your PA, remember? I know there was nothing left when we called it a night. What's this really about?”

He didn't bother replying... he didn't want to lie to her more than he had to... and instead made a move to stand so he could get dressed, until a calloused hand suddenly grasped his shoulder and yanked him back to the mattress. Adrian gasped in shock as he fell back, landing in an undignified sprawl across the bed with the back of his head colliding with Celeste's hip. He blinked up in shock to find Jax regarding him with a thoroughly unimpressed look.

“What's your problem, Raines?” he grumbled, his voice rough from sleep.

“Don't think we haven't noticed you running from us every time,” Celeste said, frowning in concern.

“We thought you wanted this,” Jax added, running a hand through his dishevelled black hair.

Adrian looked between the pair of them, still pressed intimately close whilst the sheet had fallen to reveal their naked beauty. They were like a work of art together, with Jax' warm skin tone and defined muscles a stunning contrast to Celeste's porcelain complexion and generous curves. However it was the samurai's words that really caught his attention, because Adrian suddenly got the distinct impression that they talked about him... what he was to their relationship... when he wasn't around. Honestly, he didn't know how to feel about that. From the moment it had started, Adrian had always assumed it had been a spare of the moment suggestion from Celeste, whilst they'd been relaxing in the VIP section of Serafine's Parisian club; part of him had thought it was a terrible idea, but he'd been so in love with Celeste even then, that he accepted whatever fleeting affection she was offering. He still hadn't had much opinion of Jax at the time, despite him becoming a counsel member, mostly because Adrian had been nursing his wounded heart at seeing the woman he loved fall for someone else. But then Jax had roughly kissed him at Celeste's suggestion, whilst her hands had teasingly stroked both their naked bodies, and it hadn't taken Adrian long to realise he was genuinely attracted to the other man... just as much as he was attracted to the woman they both adored. But it had taken several more instances where they invited him into their bed... literally as well as metaphorically... before Adrian realised he'd developed feelings for Jax as well. It had left him reeling, and feeling more vulnerable than ever around the pair.

“Come back to bed,” Celeste urged, her fingers beginning to card through his hair again. “Talk to us.”

“We're not letting this go,” Jax insisted, though not unkindly.

Considering they were two of the most stubborn and determined people he'd ever met, Adrian didn't doubt the samurai meant it; the fact the couple had fought ferociously side-by-side against everything Vega, Gaius, the Order and Rheya had thrown at them, driven by the promise of a future together was proof that once they'd set their mind to something, they'd stop at nothing until they got what they wanted. The identical platinum bands that adorned their left ring fingers was a testament to that... as well as a reminder of how much of an interloper he was. Still, Adrian knew there was little point arguing, especially when he noticed tears beginning to pool in Celeste's tender eyes. He hated to see her upset and couldn't stand to be the reason she cried, so he relented, laying back down in the spot he'd vacated only minutes before and mustered a small smile when Jax pulled the sheet up to cover the three of them, staving off the early morning chill. As she lay back down beside him, Celeste gently took one of Adrian's hands and held it close to her heart, whilst the samurai propped himself up to look over his wife's shoulder at him; before he utterly shocked Adrian by reaching over Celeste to lightly cup his cheek.

“Going to tell us what's going on?” Jax asked, quietly.

“We're worried about you,” Celeste stated, bringing his hand up to her lips and kissed his knuckles. “We miss you.”

Adrian glanced between them, then sighed. Really, he should have known this was coming, even though he'd tried to fool himself into thinking they wouldn't notice his changed behaviour. The sex they had was still as great as it had ever been, but after Celeste had miraculously come back from the dead, there'd been more to their... arrangement, than physical pleasure. His friendship with the vivacious redhead had always been affectionate, but now her hugs lasted a little longer and she kissed his cheek a little more often. Though it wasn't just Celeste that had changed how she treated him, since Jax had started to pull him into warm hugs and they both invited him over to their shared apartment, where they'd spend the evening simply cuddled up together watching movies. Even whilst on the run from Rheya, they'd made time for him; which Kamilah had unsurprisingly noticed and tried to grill him over. But then Gaius had inexplicably joined their group, at first straining Celeste and Jax relationship before pulling them even closer together, making Adrian feel even more of an outsider than he already had. The night at the waterfall had been his way of saying goodbye to them, of trying to close the door on their frequent trysts, especially after discovering they'd gotten engaged; not that Adrian faulted them for trying to hang on to each other in anyway they could, with death looming over them all yet again. Honestly, he hadn't thought he'd survive, and he'd made his peace with the knowledge that he'd give up his life for Celeste without a second thought. However, when the smoke had cleared and the ash had settled, they were all amazingly still alive. Jax and Celeste had married the next day in the burnt out shell of city hall, a very thankful civil servant somehow producing them a certificate amidst the chaos, whilst Kamilah officiate the short ceremony that Lily had sobbed through. Adrian had tried his best to be happy for the couple, whilst also distancing himself from them in an attempt to mend his broken heart. Though his resolve had lasted barely a week before he'd caved at Celeste's earnest invite of dinner together, which had brought them to this moment.

“You're married now,” Adrian said, simply.

He glanced up in time to see the couple exchange a concerned look.

“Is that why you've been pulling away from us?” Celeste asked, gently.

Adrian nodded, not trusting his voice not to waver if he spoke.

“Oh Adrian,” she breathed, moving closer to lean her forehead against his. “Just because I love Jax with everything I am, doesn't mean you no longer have a piece of my heart.”

“Celeste is the love of my life, she's my world, but that doesn't mean I don't care for you too...” Jax sighed, his hand sliding to rest at the back of his neck.

“But if you want to end what we have between us...” she began.

“We'll respect that,” the samurai ended.

“Though for the record, that's not what we want,” Celeste added, smiling at him sadly.

“I don't want that either,” Adrian admitted, somewhat hesitantly. “I just... don't know where I fit in to your relationship.”

“ _Our_ relationship,” Jax corrected. “Just because we're married to each other, doesn't make our relationship with you any less significant.”

“We spent months trying to show you it meant more than just sex to us,” Celeste stated, cupping his cheek with her free hand. “I thought you realised that... we care about you, Adrian.”

He shut his eyes, hiding the tears that pooled as he released a shuddery breath. “I'm an idiot.”

“Yes,” Jax agreed, without hesitation. “But you're our idiot.”


End file.
